Craving

They say pregnancy is a long, tough slog full of frustrations, stress, and miserable, painful days.

And that's just for the husbands.

Ok, but really, pregnancy does not seem to be "fun" in any sense of the word. I'm only one outside observer, but I've seen enough now to know that women go through the ringer to get this planet populated.

Lizzie is now in her second trimester. Month four seems to be better than the first three.Trimester Uno t was fun for no one. Morning sickness should be reworded as "all-day sickness."  I still can't say "J-Dawgs" around  Lizzie or she will physically hurt me.

However, I did enjoy making a list of the foods that she craved. I also made a list of the foods that she could not even stand to think about, let alone smell. And taste?  Over-her-and-a-roomful-of-innocent-victims dead bodies.

Lizzie's Food Cravings

• Mashed potatoes
• Chicken in a biscuit crackers
• Orange juice. Pulp free.  But then….nope. Didn't drink one cupful.
• Zuppas mushroom soup
• Egg salad sandwiches. Lots of egg salad sandwhiches.
• V-8
• Salata German vinegar (don't ask me. I didn't even know this existed)
• Cup of Noodle (funny story. she was craving this with a vengence and so she had me buy a whole caseful from Costco. Two Cup of Noodle's later, the craving subsided and we now have a pantry full of the stuff)
• Tomato Soup
• Pepperoni pasta salad
• Ginger cookies
• Tahara Umara salsa bar in Midawy
• Café Galleria pizza in Midway

Lizzie's Food Aversions

• Ranch dressing
• Cream Cheese
• Any type of meat, especially chicken
• Café Rio
• EVERYTHING
• Milk
• Yogurt
• Tuna

A Few Favorite Quotes from the First Trimester

• "I think  I could live as a vegetarian"

• "She should be hanging over a toilet right now" -said to the female character in "Fast Five" who had just revealed she was pregnant, but was, at the same time, hanging on ledges, jumping across buildings, and driving fast cars

• "Maybe I should have told them that I was pregnant"--said after a family discussion about vacation plans that included options of bike riding, conoeing, and extreme hiking; all of these activities were set to occur when she will be eight months pregnant

• "So one more time. . . you're SURE I'm pregnant?" Said to the doctor during her first checkup after the doctor had told her, three times, that she was pregnant. Also, after she heard the baby's heartbeat

• Dave: "Is there anything I can get you?

                    Liz: "A gun."

The Sun Has Set On Our Long Cold Winter

I honestly and sincerely apologize for the lack of blog posts in 2012. Of course, I am making the assumption that most of you CARE about our updating-which is a far-fetched assumption to make. But to be honest, our lives have been painfully boring. I can sum up our greatest achievements of the past four months in a few short sentences:

Dave

-Received the FLAS scholarship for next year

-Won “Best Brief” in the first year law school moot court competition

-Survived his first year of law school (almost! Technically he has his last final on Wednesday)

Liz

-Completed Seasons 1 and 2 of Downton Abbey in record time

-Made the least amount of dinners and did the least amount of loads of laundry (due to being sick for 3 months)

-Successfully pulled off her best April Fool’s joke (see below)

Of course my “achievements” may have been exaggerated for humor sake, but really, things have been slow for this law school widow. Thank goodness for great friends who make me to go exercise class each week, and who invite me to go get dessert every now and then.

But this summer promises to make up for our boring winter. Externship in Japan (for Dave), trip to Japan (for me), family vacations (both of which the destination is yet to be determined), welcoming home Elder Ryan Heywood, and more.

So don’t go away.

Better quality posts, more frequent blogging, and contributions by Dave are forth coming.

The ULTIMATE April Fools Joke

I have learned many things since being married to Dave. Some of these things include:

1. Costco is the greatest in all the land

2. Rock, paper, scissors can settle ANYTHING

3. Always keep one eye on your food during the prayer or the entire plate will have disappeared when you open your eyes.

However, perhaps one of the most important things I have learned since marrying Dave is the seriousness and importance of April Fools Day. This day is not a day to be taken casually or lightly, and you can bet that no Heywood ever forgets it. It’s a day bound by no rules and no regard for the feelings of others (it’s not personal, its business).

As such, one married in daughter-in-law must take precaution when treading on Heywood territory on this day. Last year April Fools came and went without too much damage, but I played my hand defensively, determined not to be “had” by anyone. This year, I had the perfect prank and I could not WAIT for April 1^st to get here.

See at the end of January (yes this is how far in advanced this prank was planned) Dave and I got a bit of news which both excited and terrified us. We saw this:

(I guess you could say this is an announcement )

After the novelty wore off and reality started to settle in and we really started to talk about the future the topic of when to tell our families came up. I was adamant about not telling ANYONE until at least 12 weeks so we looked at the calendar and April Fools was only 3 weeks after that time. Perfect. I could wait 15 weeks to tell people. Right? ( I ended up having to tell a couple of people. Like my mom, and my boss, and a couple of friends I had flaked out of so many times they would have thought I was a terrible friend.)

So I suffered the effects of morning sickness and all other un-pleasantries that come with pregnancy in silence. Luckily many of the Heywoods were out of the state for the worst part of the sickness, so I didn’t give myself away. Many times Dave would come to me and say, “ I just don’t think I can do it! I’m going to tell my mom (or Dad) on accident!” And so I used all power of manipulation, threatening , and persuasion to get him to keep his mouth shut!

Finally, the week before April Fools day came. We had almost made it.

And then it almost fell apart.

While out to dessert with Dave’s sister and Brother-in-law I blushed a deep shade of red when they questioned me about being pregnant. This questioning is fairly routine for them and they do it pretty much every time we see them. I was worried about it. And then, POOF, bright red! I tried to look away, Dave tried to change the subject, we both tried to joke about it. Finally the subject was dropped with no confession from me (I may have adamantly denied it...). But once we got in the car Dave told me it was SO obvious, it was ALL OVER MY FACE. Dang it. I had ruined it. After weighing the options we decided that for the sake of the joke we should call his sister and tell her the truth, get her in on the joke, and hopefully salvage some of our April Fools prank for Dave’s parents.

When we called her, she was already AT his parents’ house. So we COULDN’T tell her there! The damage was probably already done.

We were SURE the joke was up. I was in a shameful state of hysterics that night-all our hard work! All these secrets!

We decided we had to hope for the best. We schemed further and planned our exact answers with the perfect timing.

I took two days trying on every outfit in my closet to find the loosest, least conspicuous ensemble. I would be there for two days and needed not one but TWO outfits. I wore my sports bra and plucked my eye brows (this may not seem significant but I HATE plucking. I did it so in case they thought I looked different they might think it was because I had ACTUALLY trimmed those caterpillars above my eyes).

The blessed day arrived. And everything went according to plan. Even the hiccup of what happened at dessert the week before didn’t tip them off. Dave and my execution was perfect. April Fool’s Day had come back to the Heywoods. It took over an hour for even half of them to believe us. The rummaged through my purse (looking for pre natal vitamins) and went on our insurance website to try and confirm what we were saying. Dave and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute. It was definitely worth the wait.

Only after I sent them a sound clip of the heartbeat we had recorded at the doctor’s office did everyone get on board.

And the best part was, we got to do it AGAIN at my parent’s house. J

So for all you doubters who insisted I wasn’t 15 weeks pregnant, I have provided a picture of me in NORMAL clothes below: (Ignore the fact I had just returned from the gym-gross!)