Update 2013-style.

Act I, Scene 1. Our clumsy hero, while putting away a pan for his wife, drops the pan on his head. In a daze of anti-amnesia, he suddenly remembers that he and Lizzie have a blog and that it has been nearly a year since either of them have posted.

Aaaaand....action.

Blogging is so 2012, but with my Instragram filters blurred (my Nashville is literally, I think, in Nashville) and my Twitter account hacked by some Chinese guy who thinks that my nine followers are worth twenty minutes of time, I press on.

The Twins: Double Double, Toil and Trouble

Jonathan and Brigham have grown since the last time we've mentioned them. Jon weighs in at a cool eighteen pounds three, and Brig is just a bit behind him at fifteen pounds five oh-zees.

We found out that the twins are identical. At least, that's what our mail-order geneticists tell us. But spend a day with the two of them (No really--anytime. Please. Spend a coupla days. Or an afternoon. A few hours?) and you'll notice nearly opposite personalities.

Jon lives by Churchill's philosophy of conserving energy. When asked to what he attributed his success, Churchill replied, "Conservation of energy. Never stand up when you can sit down. And never sit down when you can lie down." Jon is like a hibernating bear. He loves to eat. He'll mosey around a bit, enough to keep the blood flowing, but he doesn't make many sudden movements. He likes cuddling. He can zero in on a single toy and play with it for at least ten or fifteen minutes, which in twin baby time approximately six hours.

Brig is a calorie burning machine. Try to put a diaper on him, I dare you. He squirms, wiggles, contorts, slips around, and twists. Watching Brigham is a lesson in Brownian motion. He's just on the warm-up track-stage of crawling, but with all the rolling and scooting and somersaulting he does, he really doesn't need to learn to crawl. I look away for a minute and he is across the room like a ninja laced with Mountain Dew. He slobbers and drools like a St. Bernard. We think that this is partly due to his acid reflux, which he toughs through like an Army Ranger.

These boys are cute. A lot of work, but we wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

Law School

I just finished my second year of law school at BYU. Because we're doing the JD/MBA program, we have two more years left. Whenever Liz remembers that we are only halfway through, her bottom lip starts to tremble just like that kid in the movie Old Yeller who has to see his dog get shot. But we are having fun as a poor student family and, in the end, even if we can afford it,  I don't think Liz will even want to live in a place with a dishwasher and a washer and dryer. At least, that's what I tell her....

Supermom

Tending twins by day and reading by night, Lizzie has been on an absolute tear getting through her booklist this year. She is an amazing reader who writes reviews on Goodreads for every book she reads. Ask her about some of her recent favorites. She is hoping to start sewing lessons this month. No doubt she will make herself into a talented seamstress and quilter.

Miscellany

- Our boys have no hope in the ability-to-get-a-tan department. Lizzie and I once again reconfirmed this after two successive outdoor outings that ended in beet red sunburns for both of us.

- Flu and diarrea with two babies at once is fun for no one.

-My sister just had a baby today and did not name it after me. Yeah, it's a girl, but still....the nerve.

-Baby formula is expensive. Just sayin'. Can't Amazon do for baby formula what it did for e-readers and second-day shipping?

-Children's books. If the illustrators are not making 90% of the money here, they need some new negotiators. I really don't see what the authors bring to the table here. All you children's book illustrators out there: You have the power! Throw down your own terse sentences, add a rhyme or two, and then paint a beautiful picture. You really don't need these authors. As Uncle Si would say, That's a fact, jack!